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The GR Responds July 9, 2006

Damn, we’re amazed that so many of you are as into the Darrenator saga as we are.  We’re thinking that if big daddy Darren weren’t off trying to contact everyone’s employers, that he might actually be able to take his show on the road and make some real loot. 

We want to clarify though, for those of you who failed to notice the complete lack of ads on our site, that we certainly aren’t making any money off this guy.  We’re in it for the chicks and because we’re really hoping to get a job reporting for the Wall Street Journal.  And for the geniuses over at Metafilter who think that this is all a viral marketing scheme to pump up the site (or our links as one of you suggested)… pffft.  We got the original info in a forward just like a lot of you did.  Certainly, if this thing is a hoax (and we’re still guessing it’s not) we’ve been duped just like everyone else. 

Another myth to clear up is that the real Darren probably hasn’t been posting comments here.  Clever though they are, just about anyone can go and post a comment as “Darren”, “Darren S.” or “Darren’s Mom.”  (Go ahead, try it now, it’s killer.  You can even post a comment as “Chodeo”,  “George W. Bush” or “Lorena Bobbit” if you really want to.  Woohoo.)  We did get a kick out of the fake Darren posts, and especially enjoyed hearing from Darla Darrenator.  We’ve done our best to keep every comment up there, because we believe in freedom.  Keep ‘em coming.  

Finally, if you emailed us about Darren or a stalker of your own, we apologize for not responding.  Our ISP is weak sauce and our web engineer is a recovering crack addict, and consequently, we can’t reply to our gonzorangers email yet.  Hopefully we’ll square that away soon, but until then we’re always listenning at chodeo@gonzorangers.com.

The Darrenator Strikes Back July 5, 2006

Many of you have posed some really good questions about our favorite King of Stalkers.  Is he married?  Is he a dangerous rapist or merely a stingy bastard?  Isn’t this whole thing just a hoax

We decided to get to the bottom of it and go right to the source — Big Daddy Darren himself.  We sent him the original chain of emails, voicemails included, and offered him a chance to comment.  The Darrenator responded immediately with this email, which kind of gave us a jump at first:

Date: Sat, 1 Jul 2006 00:43:38 -0700 (PDT)
From: “Police Matter” police_matter@yahoo.com
Subject: Cease & Desist In Your Actions - Criminal Investigation
To: Gonzo Rangers

You emailed me regarding an issue that is presently an on-going criminal investigation by the Police Department and the F.B.I.
 
I am requesting that you cease and desist ANY action on your part regarding your intended actions denoted in your email until we have an opportunity to chat.
 
Importantly, this email will serve as a record to address your email. For my records, I have blind “cc” myself on this email should this correspondence be needed in any way.
 
I would like your phone number so that I can reach out to you to discuss your email. Would you please email your full name and phone number?
 
Thank you very much for your cooperation in this on-going criminal matter. Your email is very important to me and look forward to the opportunity to respond.

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WTF?  Does the Darrenator really expect us to be spooked by a fake free Yahoo account?  Why is he such a douchebag?  We gave him our real phone number but apparently, he was too busy searching for women to stalk on JDate to give us a call, although we did receive this email back:

More Darrenator email after the jump…

(more…)

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