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The X-Games Are Comcastic! January 29, 2007


Ah, the winter X-games. Undisputedly the best live snowboard action that graces our TVs and DVR hard drives, we’re always stoked for this mid-winter madness. Usually, we’re so fired up that we go on an X-games rampage… viewing, re-viewing, re-viewing and blogging while severely intoxicated, until these pages are filled with more X-games madness than you can shake a stick at.

But today, we’re sort of struggling with interesting things to say due largely to the catastrophe of nuclear meltdown proportions that occurred in our area early Saturday afternoon. More on this in a minute, we need first to get in the zone of positivity.

- Steve Fischer is f’ing back. Breck represent, y’all, and peace Shaun White.

- Andreas Wiig, our favorite Viking warrior, absolutely killed it this weekend.
- Mono Skier X is a cool new event, especially since it will give many of this year’s Skier X competitors a place to compete next year.
- Travis Rice is still the f’ing man. And Todd Richards is on to something when he quips about Math vs. Style — if you seriously think that a flat front 1080 should compete with T Rice’s double inverted madness, you should kill yourself. Seriously.

OK. So undoubtedly, if you made this far, you’re still wondering, what is this catastrophic misfortune you speak of?

Here it is: Saturday morning, with our heads still reeling from Thursday night’s incredible women’s pipe final, we awoke, determined to waste a perfectly good day to ride sitting in front of the TV and consuming the Live ABC broadcast of the men’s and women’s slopestyle contests. Except, when we switched on ABC, we were treated to a pre-recorded broadcast of some kind of benefit awards show for the United Negro College Fund.

The emotional roller coaster of this development is difficult to describe, but it was something like this: disbelief… frantic channel surfing… rage and hatred… then a brief attempt at understanding that eventually resulted in more rage, hatred and a severely jungled apartment. Finally, we settled on just being really fucking pissed at everyone involved: ESPN, ABC, Comcast, the city of Washington, DC, and finally the United Negro College fund. (Who the fuck says ‘Negro’ anymore anyway? Fucking tools.) Actually, we suspect that the real culprits here are ABC, which has always sucked donkey balls, and Comcast. There is a word to describe this situation, which could also be used to describe the feeling you get when someone drops a giant deuce in your mouth. The word is “Comcastic!”

It was sort-of like, if you are fired up for the superbowl, drinking beer and eating nachos, and when you flip over to CBS at 6 PM EST on Sunday, they’ve decided instead to air Golden Girls re-runs. CBS is all: dude, you can always get the superbowl on iTunes, but Golden Girls is really popular in your area. Did anyone else have a similar experience? Or was our urban swampland the only part of the country lucky enough to get the UNCF shutout? Fuck, we need to move out west again, stat.

Rider’s Block January 16, 2007

In life, there’s few certainties, and many speculations. For example, a certainty might sound like
Winter on the east coast has been the crappiest in 25 years, and this sucks giant donkey balls,
while you could speculate that
The weather patterns have turned, and soon it will be winter as long as you do a snow dance!
or that
The planet is warming, and this is bad. You could also just roll with Can I cab 180 over that rocky mud patch there?

Right?

Either way, when your current certainties suck, speculating is lame. And boring. What isn’t boring is The Block TV Show, a reality series about the Block Hotel, a Tahoe snowboarder haven founded by Marco Frank Montoya, the quintessential rider warrior columnist, and Liko Smith, a Las Vegas hotel chieftain of sorts.

The question is — can G4 TV actually show us the real Lake Tahoe? The answer is — Tahoe soldiers boardsliding to their death down a large and steep metal staircase with a flat landing covered in 3 inches of snow, just for the chance at a free snowboard and a shot at another contest sponsored by The Block. Regardless of the drugs, sex and snowboarding so explicitly present in the adverts for coming episodes, we’re thinking that we’ll continue watching this shit.

Seen it? Holla below.