This is No Hoax July 12, 2006
The research team at Gonzo Rangers has come through: by using aggressive journalistic techniques and working tirelessly all night and day this week, we’ve finally tracked down Joanne. Actually, by “working tirelessly” we mean that we sat on our asses and waited for email, and by “aggressive journalistic techniques”, we mean we followed up on an anonymous tip from someone who gave us her contact info. (Thanks Mr. Tipster, you know who you are.)
Anyway, onto the point. This is no freaking joke. A Gonzo Rangers operative got in touch with Joanne last night via email and spoke with her on the phone today regarding her Darrenator ordeal. We’re 110% convinced that this is no hoax. In spite of any similarities to the unconfirmed entry on Snopes, this is the real deal. The only “viral marketing” going on here is that the Darrenator is like a loathsome virus, or a virtual marketplace riddled with sketchy stalker services.
Obviously, we aren’t going to post any of Joanne’s info, she has been through quite enough, and in addition, she was very nice to us on the phone. Certainly though, there’s more to the story than we’ve even posted.
Big Daddy Darren DID contact her employer (not a big deal, she says, but it could have been), and additionally, placed multiple phone calls to the police to complain about her; we even got to hear a voicemail the 19th precinct of the NYPD left her.
Joanne, by the way, is pronounced “Jo-Anne”, not “Joan” as the phonetically challenged Darrenator thinks, and she was more than happy to confirm that she did receive the original five voicemails the from Darrenator himself. Fearing for her safety (shit, we don’t blame her) she started saving them, and after sharing them with a friend or two, they got out as an email chain, spread like wildfire, and eventually landed in our inbox and a place in immortality on the Internet.
Now that we know for certain that he is a real human, we’ve decided to remove his last name from the site. We’ve been planning to do so as soon as he asked us, but surprisingly he still hasn’t done so. Most reasonable men would have sailed on that ship already, but the Darrenator is enigmatic and not like many other men — he prefers to communicate via pseudonym and negotiate exclusively with threatening language. Here’s a case in point: a reader claims to have seen this email, sent to an acquiantance of Joanne’s:
From: Darren [mailto:XXXXXXXXX@yahoo.com]
Sent: Wednesday, June 21, 2006 2:00 PM
To: Donald B
i let it go.
if anything should appear on the web, you and Joanne can expect a lawsuit.
i have let it go. you should do the same.
Everyone is shaking in their boots, Big Daddy D.
Post your comments, thoughts, or legal complaints from “I Can’t Believe It’s Not A Law Firm” below.
- Posted in : Ranger Activity
- Author : Chodeo