Reporting_Douchebags@DarrenatorCentral.com July 16, 2006
This caught us by total surprise, but it seems that Gonzo Rangers has some enemies in cyberspace. Someone created a fake yahoo address, firstname.lastname@example.org, and has been spamming other sites that have linked us, demanding that they take their links down. Boris, who operates the Bier Cafe, was kind enough to forward such an email that he received:
Reporting Abuse wrote:
Dear Bier Cafe,
There is an ongoing criminal investigation involving, among other things, privacy violations and aggravated harassment.
A website called Gonzo Rangers is involved.
Recently, their information was posted on YOUR website at the following hyperlink.
Please remove this thread from your website right away.
This matter is urgent and involves aggravated harrassment and privacy volations.
Website: Reporting Abuse on Your Website
Any guesses who might be involved? Let’s bust out our Big Daddy Darrenator checklist: Is the message threatening? Check. Is it from a fake yahoo pseudonym? Check. Is it totally fucking lame? Check. Does it sound like it was written by a total douchebag? Check. It must be the Darrenator then!
Fortunately for us, we can play this silly little game of Yahooliganism too — and we’ve got friends in much higher places.
From: Supreme Allied Commander <email@example.com>
To: Reporting Abuse <Reporting_Abuse@yahoo.com>; Police Matter <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Sent: Sunday, July 16, 2006 11:08:00 PM
Subject: Official Orders
As the Supreme Allied Commander for military, police, and IT forces in the American, North Atlantic, and European theaters, I am ordering that you cease and desist all inquiries into the matter of Darren S. and the $50 dinner date.
For our allied forces to succeed in the glorious struggle against the terrorist throngs of assholes and douchebags, we must succeed in holding the virtual beachhead we have established at gonzorangers.com. The actions taken by both of you, Lt. Abuse, and Pfc. Matter, demonstrate a reckless disregard for the safety and livelihood of our allies. There is currently an ongoing military investigation into this matter, and both of you risk being court martialed for conspiracy to maltreat and dereliction of duty.
You are both hear by relieved of duty. Lt. Abuse is to report immeadiately to Maj. Chodeo for latrine duty and Pfc. Matter is to report for KP at 0530 tomorrow.
The Supreme Allied Commander
Damn, this game is fun! But, did the Darrenator honestly think that shit would work? Like anyone would really pull down a link to our site because of this wussy little Yahoo game? Maybe he just didn’t get the right addresses – we’re guessing that ImACheapBastard@yahoo.com and FullTimeDouchebagStalker@yahoo.com were already taken.
Did you get your own email from a Darrenator address? Let’s have it — comments below or blast it to email@example.com.
- Posted in : Misc
- Author : Chodeo