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Recruiting Our Next Generation of Violent Drug Warriors October 26, 2006

Best.Paramilitary.Force.EverWashingtonpost.com is running an article on the front page of the site today regarding school programs in the area designed to promote “Red Ribbon Week”, a DEA sponsored drug awareness campaign. Featured in this article is Marshall Middle School in Fauquier County, VA, where the school’s genius principal, Christine Moschetti, encouraged her students and staff to wear camouflage and other paramilitary gear in support of the campaign.

How fucking appropriate. It’s a great show of support for the rise in paramilitary tactics; the advent of violent soldiering tactics that are now used to serve warrants and enforce even the most minor of drug infractions. Radley Balko at the Cato Institute has been doing some terrific research in this area. His work documents how this ridiculous and scary trend has led us to a place where innocent people in the US are being killed, terrorized and having their homes invaded by paramilitary forces because the Feds and a bunch of dipshit police commissioners in a small crappy communities like Fauquier think SWAT teams and AK-47s are the new black.

So, way to fucking go, Marshall Middle School, what a great cause to support. Hopefully, your kids have gone right to work, bashing the heads in of your small but growing stoner population. Did you let ‘em bring their guns into school too? While you’re at it, make sure they smack around a few Goth kids and stomp some Homos directly on the balls. It’s super important that these deviants learn at an early age. In no time, you’ll be on your way to being angry, wife-abusing, alcoholic DEA agents. Woohoo!

The truly cosmic irony here is that many of the kids who are eagerly rocking the camo gear in WaPo’s photos are going to be the unfortunate souls on the receiving end of the DEA’s gestapo style drug enforcement policies in just a few years. Well, not all of them, some of those chicks are already too fat to get invited to any parties where they might get offered that first gateway joint.

Yeah, that was kind of fucked, but deal with it. Maybe Marshall middle school needs to address their cheeseburger problem before tackling their next drug awareness campaign. What do you think? Hit us up below or send in your hate mail to [email protected].


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